Every January, millions of people set goals hoping that this year will feel different.
But the numbers tell a different story.
In the US, 31% of adults make New Year’s resolutions; among young adults, it’s 58%.
In the UK, 48% set resolutions.
Across both countries, over 75% abandon them by February — and more than 90% don’t achieve what they wrote down.
People aren’t failing their goals.
Traditional goal-setting is failing them.
Let’s explore why.
Why outcome-only goals don’t work
Most people follow the same formula:
Set an outcome → build a plan → rely on discipline → hope for consistency.
But outcome-only goals create a single pathway to “success”: Flawless execution.
This model leaves no room for fluctuations in energy, stress, emotional cycles, mental health, capacity, or healing.
And even when you achieve something, your ambition often expands and your baseline shifts — turning previous achievements into the new “bare minimum.”
The result?
A permanent internal sprint.
A sense of constant failure.
A belief that you’re “not consistent enough.”
Before we dive in, a quick note:
At the end of December and the beginning of January, I’ll host live workshops where we’ll set identity-based goals for 2026 together.
Yes — I’ll be filling out the exact same Notion template alongside you.
Details below — but first, the context you need.
The real reason goals collapse: identity
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
You don’t act from what you want.
You act from who you believe you are.
If your core identity sounds like:
“I am a failure.”
“I don’t keep promises to myself.”
“I don’t choose what’s best for me.”
“I’m inconsistent.”
“I always burn out.”
— then your behaviour will reinforce that belief, not contradict it.
This happens because of a fundamental psychological chain:
Trigger → Belief/Thought → Emotion → Reaction.
Example:
Trigger: the moment you need to start.
Belief: “I never follow through.”
Emotion: shame, anxiety, resignation.
Reaction: procrastination, avoidance, shutdown.
Your actions match not what you want,
but who you believe yourself to be.
Identity sets the trajectory.
The goal sits on top of it.
What changes when you shift your identity
Identity-based goals begin with a different question:
Who am I becoming in 2026?
When identity leads, behaviour aligns naturally.
Resistance drops.
Internal negotiation quiets.
Consistency becomes evidence, not pressure.
Identity becomes the engine.
Action becomes the expression of that identity.
Progress becomes sustainable.
But identity alone isn’t enough — your nervous system needs safety
Once your identity is clear, you translate it into nervous-system-safe goals using a three-layer structure:
Minimal (influenceable)
The smallest meaningful expression of your identity — achievable even on your lowest-energy days.
This builds self-trust.
Realistic (influenceable)
What you can reliably influence given your current capacity and life circumstances.
Grounded, doable, honest.
Aspirational (manifestation)
The expanded version — an expression of who you’re becoming, without pressure or perfectionism.
This framework replaces the “all or nothing” cycle with “always something.”
And that is the psychological foundation of real consistency.
We’ll build this full structure together in the live workshops at the end of December / early January.
Why some goals have never worked for you
Because they weren’t chosen by your authentic self —
they were chosen by protector parts shaped by fear:
Perfectionism: “If it’s not perfect, don’t start.”
Recognition-seeking: “Choose goals that look impressive.”
Dominance: “Prove that you’re better.”
The pessimist: “Why bother? It won’t work.”
Protector parts are not sabotaging you —
they’re trying to protect you from painful emotions: shame, failure, disappointment, rejection.
If you want 2026 to finally feel different
At the end of December and the beginning of January, I will host live workshops where we will set identity-based goals together.
We will work through:
• Your 2025 reflections and your 2026 identity
• Your protector parts and how they shape your goals
• Minimal / Realistic / Aspirational structures
• A sustainable path to the life you want
You will receive a Notion template, and we will complete it together — live.
If you prefer a deeper, personal approach, I’m also offering a limited number of 1:1 goal-setting sessions — a two-hour live workshop with me, 1-1.
There are currently 8 out of 10 spots left.
2026 doesn’t require more discipline.
It requires a different identity —
one that your nervous system trusts and your life can grow from.
We’ll build it together.
With care,
Alena Guzharina (@alena.speaks)
Psychotherapist & coach, speaker and content creator
Book an intro coaching session with me
www.alena-speaks.com